What should I do???

I have been with my fianc� for almost 10 years. We have been engaged for 4 years. We were supposed to get married last year but his mom unexpectedly pasted away. We canceled the wedding to give us time to heal from everything that has happened. It's been over a year since then. We have not talked about getting married since. I want to give him time but it seems like no matter what I'm screwed because it's not going to be a happy time. I don't want to be selfish but I want to get married. I want to have a big wedding, but I'm not too sure if that will reopen some hard to heal wounds. Sometimes I think that we should just go to the courthouse and get it over with even thought that is NOT the way I want it. He does still want to get married but he has mentioned that it will not be the same if we do. I'm I being selfish should I allow more time? Any advice?